Rednecks are a special kind of people. They aren’t the brightest tools in the shed and will fight over anything. Talk shit about NASCAR? You’re about to fight.
Talk shit about someone’s cousin, Cletus? You’re about to fight. Get drunk at some beach bar called Florabama during the annual mullet toss? You’re going to fight, as these two ladies did.
My first thoughts after seeing this:
1) The hefty girl in the pink should probably stop wearing bikinis. No offense but girls don’t find it attractive when a fat guy is letting his rolls hang out for everyone to see. It goes both ways. Find something that fits your body type — maybe a bed sheet.
2) How about the old lady coming out of nowhere at the end to help her fat friend? I’ve said it in the past and I’ll say it again: a fight between two people should stay that way. No need to gang up on someone because your friend is losing. Your friend is losing because your friend is a loser.
3) Definitely would with that blonde chick
Mullet Toss fight 2k16….. Part One. pic.twitter.com/xDJLiVFP7t
— Mattie-Lou Chandler (@MattieLouC) April 24, 2016
Mullet Toss Girl fight Part Two…. pic.twitter.com/sSEhq61BLM
— Mattie-Lou Chandler (@MattieLouC) April 24, 2016
Pro tip: you kids have got to stop recording everything for Snapchat. If I wanted to limit myself to ten second videos, I’d make a sex tape.
We need to see the entire catfight from start to finish, that shit will go viral. People don’t lose interest when it’s a long video of a catfight. They lose interest when it’s like the State of the Union Address or baseball. When you get the chance to record a catfight, use the long form video function on your phone. Don’t worry about ten seconds on Snapchat. We need it all.
And I swear to god, every time I post a catfight on Outkick, a million of you assholes come to watch and I always think to myself, why don’t I start Outkick the Catfight and just put these fights on pay-pay-view and become a billionaire? The Internet has an insatiable hunger for catfights and instead of giving the people what they want I’m out here selling SEC colored pants like a dumbass. (They’re only $20, you should buy some.)