Oscar Nominee Superglued Himself to Starbucks Counter Because They Charged Him Extra for Plant-Based Milk

Radical animal activists seem to enjoy placing themselves in sticky situations. A few weeks ago, some crazed radical tried to glue herself to the court at Minnesota’s Target Center. This left-wing lunatic was protesting for chicken rights.

The birdbrain’s idea to glue herself to the court was in protest against a euthanizing method used at one of majority owner Glen Taylor’s chicken producing locations. Evidently, “off with their heads” is a better solution. Nevertheless, it appears one birdbrain idea deserves another.

Adhering one’s self to a fixed object seems to be an increasingly popular strategy. It also seems that these birdbrain ideas are predominately focused on animal rights. One such protest was live-streamed to Facebook by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA).

“L.A. Confidential” and Oscar nominee actor James Cromwell didn’t like the idea that Starbucks wanted a few “more bucks” for providing customers with “plant-based milks. It apparently doesn’t matter to these people that plant-based milk costs more to produce.

Somehow, fair market capitalism cannot be practiced if it degrades or disgraces a member of our noble animal community. We wonder if the cows got this memo. So Cromwell decided to superglue himself to the Starbucks counter in protest.

According to Cromwell, he was trying to make a statement protesting “the company’s surcharge for vegan milk options and its impact on both the environment and on communities of color.” We’re not quite sure how this affects communities of color any differently than other places.

But like most of these fantastic claims, it has to be racist. The actor wore a t-shirt with the statement “free the animals” printed across the front. His reasoning for the discriminatory claims against minority communities was due to a higher degree of lactose intolerance in minorities.

Cromwell denounced the Starbucks policy, screeching, “When will you stop raking in huge profits while customers, animals, and the environment suffer?” And then, in a perfect chorus, the group with Cromwell started to chant, “Save the planet, save the cows.”

Stop the vegan up-charge now!” But of course, they did. No good protest should be without its own personal jingle. With the eloquent chorus as a staged backdrop, Cromwell and one other PETA activist proceeded to superglue themselves to the counter.

Evidently, they stayed stuck for about an hour and then unattached themselves from the counter. No one was charged. However, there was a similar stunt in Seattle. Two of these “sticky protesters” were arrested.

Former Beatles star Paul McCartney also takes umbrage with Starbucks’ plant-based milk surcharge policy. However, McCartney had enough sense to write a protest letter rather than stick himself to a countertop.

The iconic rock star politely petitioned Starbucks to reconsider its plant-based milk policy. McCartney pleaded, “My friends at PETA are campaigning for this to happen. I sincerely hope that for the future of the planet and animal welfare, you are able to implement this policy.”

We’re just puzzled over how the notion of a plant-based milk surcharge somehow jeopardizes the future of our planet or hinders animal welfare. Nevertheless, apparently to some ardent animal activists, it’s a pretty sticky situation.

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